Childbirth Classes

Ok, so I really feel that all teenagers should be required to go through a series of labor and delivery classes as part of their sex education program. Seriously. There is SO MUCH that they don't tell you when you think 'oh i want to have a BAY-bee'. Sure I can handle the morning sickness, the achy feet, the growing belly, the sleepless nights. They don't tell you about the varicose veins in places you didn't think could get them, or that being able to poop could very well be the highlight of your week. In fact, I think that if you just mention these few words and phrases to teenagers (like 'episiotomy', 'hemorroid', and 'fecal incontinence') the pregnancy rate for teens would go waaaay down while the condom market would skyrocket! That being said, I really can't complain too much just yet. I've really had a great pregnancy with very few 'symptoms'. It's just the labor and delivery part that I'm really focusing on now. I'm not afraid of giving birth, but I am a Planner. If I knew right now that I'd be in the hospital for 12 hours and be able to deliver naturally I'd be fine. If I knew right now that I'd need to have a C-section due to some complication, I'd also be fine...because I could PLAN for it. This unknown crap is what I can't stand. I know how great a delivery can go...I also know how not-so-great they can be. I just don't know where me and my son fit into this whole thing. So Josh and I are doing our research and just trying to be as prepared as we can to give ourselves the best shot at what we really want (unmedicated and uncomplicated). We're also doing a lot of praying to just give us the strength to deal with whatever else comes our way. I just keep reminding myself 'at least I'm not a squirrel monkey'. Those girls give birth to babies that are 20% of their own body size. Fo' reals.

The Great Baby Shower Surprise

So even though the day was full of surprises for me and Baby Fisch, WE had a little trick up our own sleeve! On March 1st we had a fancy ultrasound for the study. Josh and I felt that we wanted to finally find out the sex of the baby. When I first got pregnant, I really didn't want to know. I was looking forward to the surprise. But as time went on, I became more and more convinced that we were having a baby boy. It got so bad, that I had to keep reminding myself that I DIDN'T know what I was having and I needed to be careful about registering because I kept gravitating to boy-ish things! I also started to feel guilty and panicking thinking that I might actually feel a little disappointed if I gave birth to a girl after thinking it was a boy all this time. We all know Josh has wanted to know the sex since the minute this kid was conceived...so it wasn't hard to convince him! So we went to our appointment with great anticipation. I asked the technician to freeze a good picture of the Nether Region on the screen because Josh wanted to try and see if he could figure it out. When she said 'alright Dad, what do you think?' he happily replied 'is that junk?!?!!' "It's a boy!". So yes!!!!! We are having a bouncing baby boy!!!! I guess there is something to be said for mother's intuition!

One of the big reasons that I didn't want to find out the sex in the beginning was that I wanted it to be special when we told people. I wanted to be there to see their faces and I didn't want to do it over the phone with our parents. So I had a brilliant idea...keep it a big fat secret until the shower!!!! So that's what we did. This may be a surprise to some of you because we had all intentions of telling everyone during the shower. But dear little Josh was having too much fun firing machine guns with Grampa Jeff and Uncle Felix and eating at Primanti Bros that he didn't make it to the shower until a little after it was technically over. We had bought special presents for The Grammas and I really wanted Josh to be there to help give them. We were able to keep everyone's attention just long enough to watch The Grammas open their new little photo books that said 'Cute as grandsons get" on the front!!!!! It was the exact moment that I had been hoping for. The look on everyone's faces were priceless! Actually, a part of me was even more excited to see Aunt Jess's face than my own mother's !!!! Jess has been begging me for a boy since the day I peed on the stick and it told me I was pregnant! So the cat is officially out of the bag (or the penis is out of the pants???) WE ARE HAVING A BOY!!!!!!!!!!!! and no, we're not telling you his name!!!!!!

More Shower Pictures!

The Diaper Cakes, The Decorations, The Baskets, The Presents, The Favors, what a day!

Baby Shower

On Saturday, March 13th, at 12 noon, there was a major event going on at the Pittsburgh Zoo and PPG Aquarium....Baby Fisch's Baby Shower!!!!!! Amy, Jess, Brandi as well as The Grammas helped to throw the most amazing party in baby shower history!!!! Everybody who was anybody was there...old neighbors and friends, family from across the country, even my friend Mike-a keeper who helped teach me how to be the awesome animal trainer that i am today-stopped by too! (Well, he IS married to Amy and he's not one to pass up free dessert). As The Belly and I (yes, I refer to it as it's own separate entity now) entered the room, Jess was quick to whisk me away for an important matter...my Aunt Jan came all the way in from FLORIDA to surprise me!!! I cried like a baby. Serious sobbing. I didn't even cry that hard when Josh asked me to marry him! Maybe it had something to do with the hormones, but it was going to be hard to top that moment as surprise of the century! Apparently, my Aunt Gretchen spilled the beans right in front of me at dinner the night before, but luckily I was busy stuffing my face with a fish sandwich and didn't even hear the slip-up. The jungle theme was everywhere. Brandi handmade about 50 diaper cakes as centerpieces (well, maybe more like 10, but still it was impressive!). Baby Fisch will be able to pee away to their heart's content because we now are 200 diapers richer! They also added baby pictures of Josh and I scattered around the room! Amy had a brilliant idea to hang a clothesline on a wall to hang up the outfits that we received...sooooo cute!!! Baby Fisch has a headstart in a library too. Each guest was asked to bring along one of their favorite books. I loved to read when I was little and I hope the baby will enjoy it too. I've been taking lots of DHA for brain and eye development. That paired with books, the baby should be able to read to themselves by age 2 I figure. :)

We had a delicious lunch of assorted salads and sandwiches while the guests filled out their Baby Fisch Present Bingo cards. As guests won at bingo, they got tickets that they could enter in the contest to win fancy baskets created by our lovely hostesses! After lunch, Grandpa Gary (God bless his little heart) took the kids out into the Zoo to burn off some energy while we did 'shower things'. We didn't hear any distress calls and no one ended up in the tiger pool so overall he did a great job!! He may look and sound like a grizzly bear, but Gary is a big ol' softie when it comes to kids.

The presents...oh the PRESENTS! Our kid better not end up being a jerk, because people are already so in love with this baby! It was amazing! We got just about everything we could possibly need! Thank goodness there were so many moms there because there were quite a few things that I put on the 'happy face' for and had no idea what they were! I had to ask a lot of questions! "This is GREAT!!!! What is it?" Amy was a great interpreter :)

This just in...i'm watching A Baby Story while trying to write this blog AND finish our thank you cards and I just saw a brand new baby boy being born...that poor thing's scrotum is almost as big as his head!!! I heard they swelled in utero, but holy crap that's a little bit ridiculous!

Anyhow, we received so many amazing gifts...practical, sentimental, surprises, everything! Gramma Fischer, my friends Sarah and Betsy each made a blanket for Baby Fisch...gorgeous! Aunt Gretchen refinished a wooden high chair that her dad had made years ago. What an heirloom! And of course, Aunt Jan didn't disappoint with her 'bonus bags' filled with baby goodies!

Finally, the CAKE! A Lois Mathews original...it was truly outstanding! Half chocolate, half white with homemade buttercream frosting. Plus a monkey drawn by hand by Gramma Dee Dee herself!!! No Lois Baby Shower cake is complete without a sleeping baby under a blanket either. The nurse at our last child birth class scared me by saying that too much sugar can not only cause gestational diabetes but high birth weight babies! Needless to say, I felt that it was worth the risk and consumed plenty of cake and cookies that weekend.

New Pictures!

So our little bundle of joy is finally big enough to get some great pictures of his/her little face! This was from our last study ultrasound on March 1st at 27 weeks and 3 days pregnant. They look pretty cozy in there!

I have to go to the bathroom!

I have to say that as the months have gone by and there is less and less room in my abdomen for my bladder, I have become quite a connoisseur of public restrooms. Many of you may think that there are only 2 grades of bathroom Clean and Dirty. But that is simply not true. Yes, cleanliness is a huge part of the ladies room experience, however it is only a part of the bigger picture. Let's explore some of these aspects of grading a public restroom.

First of all, are there adequate numbers of stalls? In smaller venues, a one toilet bathroom may suffice, but usually they need enough space for multiple stalls because women generally have to pee a lot. Also, if someone has some bad public restroom etiquette such as clogging a toilet or leaving a large mess, it's nice to have other options of where to relieve yourself. For me, it's very important to have multiple toilets available to keep the lines moving.

Next, you want to look at overall cleanliness. Does the bathroom SMELL like a bathroom? Is there paper towels and toilet paper on the floor? Are the doors rusted or chipping paint? Are the sinks covered with water and spilled soap? Any combination of these things is a deal breaker for me, however when there's a miniature person laying across your bladder full of lemonade you'll make due with what you have available.

The last level of my criteria has to do with extra amenities and personal touches to make your bathroom experience special. A simple decorative box of Kleenex or Bath and Body Works hand lotion can really take your bathroom visit to the next level.

So I would like to conclude with a few reviews of some places that I've had the privilege of peeing in.

In no particular order.

1) The Fish Market...a lovely restaurant in San Diego. You would expect a pretty decent ladies room but they broke Rule #1: there was only one toilet and guess what? It was clogged by someone who's stomach didn't agree with the catch of the day. Not cool. Luckily for them, they had a second ladies room in the bar area. The lovely smell of baked goods and fancy folded paper towels definitely added points, but I was still a little peeved from what I had witnessed just moments before.

2) Airbase Carpet and Tile. Sounds industrial doesn't it? You may expect cinder blocks and a shortage of toilet paper but no! I was delightfully surprised by the facilities at the store where we purchased our laminate flooring for the kitchen. An automatic light when you enter, 3 rooms stalls to choose from, blue toilet water (that's just classy), and of course gorgeous tile on the floor and walls! It IS a tile store after all. Overall I give Airbase 2 thumbs up. I even made a point to use it a second time when we had to go back for an extra box of flooring.

3) The Bayard House restaurant where we went for Valentine's Day. This was a tough one. There were 2 stalls to choose from. The lighting was soft and elegant. There was a bottle of lavender scented hand soap and flowers on the vanity. HOWEVER, they really had to squeeze 2 stalls in there. The doors opened into the stalls and the toilets were very close to the front of the stall. It made it very difficult to navigate The Belly around the door to get in and out. I almost had to stand on the toilet to open the door! Now it IS a historic inn and therefore they are extremely limited on their space, however I'm glad that we went before I really started to get fat!

4) Chik-Fil-A...Bear,DE location. Now this is the cream of the crop so far. Not only does Chik-Fil-A have a lovely menu, amazing staff, and the best milkshakes ever...but they really know how to go that extra mile to make the whole dining experience memorable. After drinking 2 cups of iced tea (they come to your table and refill it for you...seriously!) I had to make a pit stop before we continued on our adventure the other day. I walked into the spacious ladies room and had my choice of not 2, not 3, but 4 sparkling toilets to pee in. There I found something amazing. There was not a box of cheap tissue toilet seat covers. No, there was something grander...an antibacterial foam that could be wiped on the seat before sitting down! Amazing! No sliding around, worrying about if the edge is sitting in the bowl slowly wicking up the pee water. And the toilet paper...3 ply no less! Finally, at the sink I found a very pretty Corian countertop with a vase of flowers, MATCHING box of real Kleenex and a bottle of Vaseline Intensive Care hand lotion. Bravo Chik-Fil-A! Bravo! I felt rejuvenated and ready to continue on our day of running errands.

So the lesson here is, the next time you're out and about, even if you don't have to go, take a minute to check out the facilities...you might be pleasantly surprised!